Inspiration Meets Regret
I had a great Thanksgiving with my family this past week. As I predicted, the atmosphere was festive and loud, as we all caught up on our lives. But the highlight of the Thanksgiving festivities was watching my 11-year old niece, Anna, working in her sketchbook after dinner. I keep a stash of art supplies that I no longer use, so when she asked if I had colored pencils and a sharpener, I was happy to oblige. She set to work on a picture of my sister Becky’s adorable dog, Ellie Jane.
Everyone loved the dog portrait and Anna was thinking about giving the drawing to my sister, but then she realized she actually wanted to keep it. So, I suggested scanning it into the computer. This way, I could send a copy of her art to Becky’s phone and she could print it out later. She was thrilled with this idea and followed me to the studio to start the scan.
Anna shared the rest of her sketchbook and I was amazed at all the drawings she had created. Portraits of animals, drawings of food, dress designs for different occasions - she even had a breakfast in bed dress with pockets for waffles and syrup. My favorite was the winter dress adorned with magical snowflakes.
As I brought the scan up on the screen, Anna mentioned she needed to work on Ellie Jane’s snout. She said she hadn’t gotten that quite right. And I told her what I wish someone had told me as a young child. That it isn’t important that her drawings be perfect. I commented on how she had drawn a heart for the dog’s nose and that details like that are what make her drawings unique.
Later, I couldn’t help wondering how far I might have come by now as an artist if I had been encouraged to explore art and creativity the way Anna has. If I had started drawing and painting when I was 11, how good would my art be today?
Regrets like this have plagued me throughout my life, unfortunately. But I am so thankful to one of my Alchemy Circle sisters for creating the perfect journaling prompt for this week’s meeting. It helped me see this regret in a whole new light.
The prompt was about remembering who we are as artists and what beliefs hold us back. My beliefs about coming to art too late in life and comparing my art to all the wonderful artwork in the world have made me feel like I’m in a race against time. That I don’t have enough time to get to “good enough”. But when I got to the prompt about who I would be without these limiting beliefs, I had a bit of a breakthrough.
I realized that part of what has made this art journey so special is that it has taken me so long to get here. I wrote,
“So, without this thought I would be someone who embraces my art, knowing that the path I’m on is born from all the other journeys I’ve experienced. The heart of my work is one of exploration and discovery. I would not attach as much meaning to my art were it not for the struggle that came before.”
After I wrote this, I could feel a bit of that regret lifting from my shoulders. I realized this journey is not about competing with other artists or trying to catch up. Life’s twists and turns have brought me here, so I can relax, trusting that what I’m learning is serving me no matter what. And my experiences along the way have shaped the artist I am and the artist I will be in years to come. I can enjoy the ride, make the art I want to make, experiment and continue learning. There is no deadline. No pinnacle of success. No brass ring to grasp.
And writing all of this to you has helped me understand that I can be a supportive cheerleader for others precisely because I know what it’s like not to have that support. I can be inspired watching my niece find her artistic voice and encourage her along the way.
I hope you found some encouragement here today and that it inspires you to pursue the things you love, just because you love them, no matter how far behind you may feel.