Shoulds and the Importance of Breaks

I struggled with the topic for this week’s Notes from Sunlight Forest. My goal is to send messages filled with hope and sunshine each week. But this week, hasn't felt so sunny.

I’ve run the gamut between stressed and overwhelmed. Like just about everyone these days, I have a lot on my plate. A lot to think about. Decisions to make. Projects to start and finish. Chores and social engagements. Most of the time, I can simply create lists, get things in order and get back on track. But something was nagging at me about the projects I’m working on right now.

Late this afternoon, I decided to stop trying to figure it all out. Though I felt I couldn’t afford a break, I took one anyway. I walked a worn and familiar path to a creek near my home. I took a journal, a pen and my water bottle. I sat in the sunshine listening to the babbling water and took in the scene around me. Beautiful trees, vast farmland and streams of white clouds. I heard the gentle trill of birds going about their day. And then I began to write.

At one point in my writing, I noticed a word that repeated over and over. The word Should. I should be going to bed earlier. I should have done this or that in a certain situation. I should work on just one thing at a time. I should not be spending so much time playing Angry Birds on my iPad. I should be working on a Christmas-themed pattern collection because I don’t have anything with this theme in my portfolio.

With all the shoulds listed in black and white on the page, I started to see why I’ve felt so heavy these past few days. Each of those shoulds is unnecessary weight that I’m carrying. I know from past experience that the more I “should” do something, the more I avoid it. And the more I avoid it, the more likely I am to engage in behaviors that are detrimental. For instance, the more I tell myself that I “should” go to bed earlier, the later I tend to stay up.

This time, I chose to challenge the shoulds. Were they true? Did they matter?

Some of them did matter. Others, not so much. Some of the shoulds aren’t even here yet. Some I may never need to face at all. Some are messages I received from well-meaning parents, teachers, or mentors over the years that have little to do with who I am and what I want to do in my life right now.

After journaling these thoughts and letting go of some of those shoulds, I felt lighter on my walk home. I felt my sense of wonder returning as I looked at the trees, smelled the air, and listened to the birds. I took pictures of things that caught my eye and slowed my pace. And while all the same projects, chores and responsibilities were waiting for me at home, the load didn’t seem nearly as daunting.

I know that taking breaks like this can be very productive, but in the moments I need them most, I often feel I can’t spare the time. The insight I’ll take from today is that my walk was the most productive way to spend an hour this afternoon. The proof is that I’m now at my desk writing Notes from Sunlight Forest and the words are flowing onto the page without much effort at all. In fact, I’m really enjoying it.

I’m trusting that this is the message I needed to write and that maybe you needed to hear it just as much as I did this week.

What are the shoulds that are weighing you down? Are they true? Do they matter? Can you let them go?

How can you give yourself a needed break this week even if you don’t think you have the time to spare?